Saturday, February 13, 2010

Its NONE of your business!!!!!

Ok I have a real pet peeve and it is when folks feel the need to tell ME what I am doing with MY children is wrong.

I will give a few examples

1st example

My boys sleep in our room. NOT our bed but our room. You see we live in a cul-de-sac and are at the end of the clu-de sac with CRAZY neighbors on both sides.

my boys bedroom is at the front of the house facing one of the crazy neighbors house, now this particular neighbor is up till the WEE hours of the morning and will often times shoot his gun at "owls, coyotes, or anything else he wants" not to mention one night he had a few tiki torches lit and was throwing them around at 3am. he is just WEIRD, and so darling hubby and I do not feel safe with them at the front of the house and moved their bunk beds into our room

This is OUR house, these are OUR children and this is OUR decision, but its funny how folks feel the need to tell you that its WRONG and that we are ruining our kids. REALLY.... Um last I check they were my kids and its none of your business.

we have decided though that darling hubby and I would give the master bedroom which is at the back of the house and the largest room to the monkeys, that way I feel better KNOWING they are safe and then they can have all of the toys in their rooms.

2nd example

My kids were pacifier babies. Grasshopper stopped taking his at 2 he just didn't want it anymore. Ok no biggie
But Rang-Tang was not going to give his up without a fight. SO WE DIDN'T TAKE IT, I mean its HIS, he uses them for comfort and I knew he would not be going on his first date with a Fubbie ( that's what he called them ) in his mouth.
but low and behold I got grief from EVERYONE about how it was wrong, how he was not a baby, it was going to cause bad teeth ( um have you seen darling hubby's and my teeth? OUR KIDS ARE DOOMED IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT. ) so we should just take it from him

And my response was

IS IT HURTING YOU TO SEE HIM WITH IT? MY CHILD MY RULES BACK OFF.... I mean taking his fubbie from him to ME was no different than me taking a woman's coffee from her that she HAS to have in the morning. Its a comfort thing to her, NO DIFFERENCE IN MY OPINION. and seeing how this is MY blog MY OPINION MATTERS...

3rd Example

Homeschooling. OH MY GOSH I get so much flack over this and again BUTT OUT... Not your kids NOT YOUR BUSINESS... I mean if my kids were being abused by all means BUTT IN. but my kids come from a very loving family and in my opinion. ( see there that is again MY OPINION... hehehehe)
if my kids who by the way are 5 and 9 ACT like what a 5 and 9 year old SHOULD in MY OPINION than BACK OFF. I mean I have friends that's kids go to school and I hear the way these kids talk and I think REALLY. DID I know what that stuff was at 9? NOPE not that school is bad but I feel that when kids are in school they have to grow up alot faster and that's sad. They have all this peer pressure and to me that's sad.

4th example

the dreaded STUFFED ANIMALS.. Ok both my monkeys love their stuffed animals and I REMEMBER loving mine. I have NO issue if they want to bring a webkinz in the car or where ever. However ( this one is from my folks LOVE YOU MOMMY )
my folks find that my kids caring around a stuffed animal is very IMMATURE... UM HELLO they are 5 and 9 and how does that constitute IMMATURITY? I think it all goes back to the fact that they are GASP**** HOMESCHOOLDED and are so UNSOCILIZED hehehehehe But Lord I love my folks this is where I and them differ. I know my folks love me and darling hubby and LOVE my boys I mean they DOTE on my boys and I love that. But in my folks Eyes I am still a little girl and my house will never be clean enough for them or I will never make the BEST choices. And who knows when I am a grandma ( which according to my boys they are NEVER LEAVING ME. Darn it I did RUIN THEM. =)
I may feel the same and have the same thoughts. I pray that I am a very supportive and loving Grammy and keep my mouth shut when it comes to my boys. ( if you know me you know that is so NOT likely to happen. But a girl can dream huh? )

so these are just a few examples.

SO next time you see me and I may not be doing something you would stop and think for a moment. IS IT YOUR PLACE TO TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY KIDS? I can straight up tell you NO IT IS NOT.......


Chrissy said...

If you were my friend, I would give you crap about all of those EXCEPT homeschooling. But since I don't know you personally, I won't give you crap! ;o) Aren't you lucky...ha!

Is it my place? No, it's not. I actually struggle with this sort of thing. It's very hard for me not to give my opinions, especially if I've read something specifically about it (like pacifiers after 2 years of age or developing good sleeping habits by not letting children be in the same room - not to mention how that sort of thing can effect intimacy between a couple).

So...what's a girl to do? :o)

Pam, mom, honey, said...

i am so there with you. i am happy with my kids and do not need advice unless i ask for it

Mindy Skains Independant Scentsy Consultant said...

No throwing anything at anyone NOT MY MY BLOG. hehehe I understand that its ODD for some folks to understand our things. But I guess it only bothers me when I am flat out told I AM HURTING MY KIDS. I in no way see that.
as far as not knowing me well. GIRL you and I could be all sorts of good friends. I am opinionated too. I just am good at hiding it.

Lolidots said...

I so totally know how you feel. Nosy Nancies are everywhere and everyone thinks they know what's best for everyone else. What so many people don't understand is that there is no "one size fits all" plan for children. But, because they have kids or because they know someone with kids or because they read a book, suddenly they are experts in other people's kids. It's quite annoying. I like to laugh on the inside because everyone has problems and if someone is giving you crap about something as stupid as where your kids sleep, imagine the problems in their own household.

Just keep letting all that crap go in one ear and out the other and remember that as parents we do what's best for OUR kids, not what's best for other people's kids.

I'm NOT a VOLCANO! said...

I hear you. It sucks when people think they need to tell you what you're doing wrong.

Obviously EVERYONE has an opinion. If no one had an opinion, then we'd all do stuff the exact same way. For example, my children sleep in seperate rooms, they got rid of pacis by 1 year, bottles by 1 year and whatever. That's my opinion about what I wanted for MY children.

It's none of my business that your kids sleep in your room (And if I was in your situation and was scared for them, then of course I would do exactly the same thing.) and it's none of my business that you homeschool (I have no opinion on this at all anyway) and whatever else you decide to do with your children is up to you. I try very hard not to have an opinion about anything except for my own children's wellbeing.

That being said, it's EVERYONES business if a child is being hurt, abused, molested in any way. And that SHOULD be addressed. Your kids sleeping in your room or homeschooling or having a binky past a certain age or whatever isn't abuse.

I get flack for not BFing, my daughter sucks her thumb (she's 4- and she only sucks it in her bed at bedtime, not all the time.) and for my kids having loveys. (Can you believe that!!! It's mostly from my mom- she rotated our toys and blankets constantly because she thought it wasn't good for us to have loveys. So she hates it that my kids do. Mostly, I think she hates it that their blankets/loveys aren't washed on a regular basis. But I'm sorry- I have to sneak them away to wash them.)

You'll never hear judgement from me. I am perfectly aware that there are many many wonderful ways to parent, and none of them are the same. OUr family is wonderfully happy and well adjusted. So is yours. We're very different. Obviously, we're both doing just fine.

Arizona Mamma said...

Good for you for saying so! You're all fired up, and that's awesome actually. I agree 100% In fact I did a post early on. I think it's "No Explanation Required." Along the same lines.

Stephanie said...

I found your blog through MckMama's discussion! Oh, and I STILL sleep with my blanket that I've slept with since I was a baby. Am I married? Yes I am! It's not hurting anyone and I just like sleeping with it!! :)

roadrunner201 said...

I totally agree. It is no one's business but mine what I allow my kiddo to do, how I choose to raise him if,
A. He's not being abused
B. He is not being neglected
C. He is not your kid;-)

Good post.

Hen Jen said...

yes I agree, and funny how some days/weeks you just seem to get it from everyone all at once! Seems like you've had that kind of week recently.

I've gotten to the point where I think that only close friends/family should have the freedom to offer advice or comments and by close, I don't mean just cus you are related, but by close I mean you spend time with me, talk with me, pray with me, cry with me..then I think you have the ground and hopefully the compassion to offer an opinion or thought..and I know because we are close, that you would have thought about it/prayed about it before bringing it to me.

I used to get the homeschool stuff when mine were younger, but everyone seems to have backed off now. That, and I hardly bring it up...

Lisa Curcio said...

Right on!

Lets see, 2 of my kids sleep in our room, because there is no were else to put them, I homeschool, my kids insist on dragging their "friends" every were we go, none of my kids ever wanted a binky past a few months old, if at all, but my baby girl is a serious thumb sucker! I have no intention of telling her to stop either.

You are doing great Mama!