Saturday, January 16, 2010

Would you like to spend the night with me?

Well after THE STORY OF ME. I thought you all needed something a little more fun and light hearted, So I am going to tell you a story

Come Close....




Closer.........



Closer...........


ok. I love my darling hubby more than words could explain, so while I tell this you know its all in good fun...

In order to tell the story you need to know a few things about me

A- I am an insomniac ( not sure if that's even an actual word )

B- My darling hubby suffers from what we call JIMMY LEGS.. or what normal folks call Restless Leg Syndrome ( although he won't see a Dr. about it )

C- we have to lock our cats up in the bathroom at night ( they like to run and jump on the kids and the little one Skittles thinks the bottom bunk is a litter box )

D- the little one Skittles is ALLERGIC to cat litter ( so we have to use that recycled paper stuff )


ok now that you know all this here is the story....

It all started Wednesday night. I crawl into bed to read ( something I do nightly ) and Darling hubby crawls into bed to read. ( ok in case you do not know us personally let me explain. Darling hubby and I are, well we like to call it PERFECTLY FLUFFY. others call it FAT, PLUMP, but Fat works. And as if that were not bad enough we sleep on a Queen size mattress.
SO basically the two of us in a queen size bed is like to walruses flopping around outta water. )

So its time for bed now.
Now I have NO idea how anyone in their right mind can literally turn the light off and be sound asleep in less than 2 min. flat. But apparently Darling Hubby has mastered that. Where as I lay there for at least 1 hour before falling to sleep.

So here I am laying there TRYING to doze off and listening to darling hubby breath deeply. ( no not quite a snore yet )
its quiet and still then here comes the TWITCH........ TWITCH....... ( now you have to understand when he twitches the entire bed shakes. ( so imagine a broke down vibrating bed )

Ok so I think great he has the Jimmy Legs again... SO I lay there KNOWING it will happen again.
but Nope Nothing.... SO I think great....
I start to drift into a slumber ( you know that place right before you are asleep ) and all of a sudden

WHACK..... Darling hubby's jimmy legs have turned into a full on kick into my legs. OUCH!!! I think ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? then nothing No movement from him... so again I have been laying there now for at least 2 hours. PRAYING to fall asleep feeling my hubby twitch the bed then KICK ME and now nothing....

So I lay there literally for like 20 more min and he does not move AGAIN I think FINALLY and right when I am not expecting it

WHACK this time not only did he kick me but he caught me with those Valaseraptor claws that he calls toe nails and I swear to goodness I had to actually get up to go see if he cut me.. IT HURT and I was certain that he ripped open my skin... Thankfully NO..... so I lick my wounds ( not really but you get the jests. )

SO I go back to bed contemplating going out to the couch but think NO I AM TIRED. I look at the clock and its not 3 I finally fall asleep ONLY to be awoken at 4:46 to a horrific smell. YEP one of the cats used the litter box and OH MY GRAVY... I thought I was going to be sick the smell was horrible. I think I now know what Medical examiners smell on a daily basis. So thinking of a medical examiner I go dig around the bathroom all cockeyed for the Vic's Vapor rub to rub under my nose so I can sleep and not smell DEATH!!.

I mean COME ON... this is my bed my room and I CAN"T CATCH A BREAK.... I fall back to sleep knowing I have to be awake in 2 1/2 hours .

I fall back to sleep only to be awoken by the Alarm... ( I have said it before THE ALARM IS SATAN'S DOING... WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND EVER THOUGHT THAT BEING AWOKE TO A CONSTANT BEEP BEEP BEEP was a good idea should be strung up....

So there you have it. Anyone wanna stay the night?

4 comments:

TAMMY said...

Sounds eerily similar to what happens at my house on a nightly basis! But the waking up to smell the cat poop had me laughing out loud! Thanks for the chuckle!

Mindy Skains Independant Scentsy Consultant said...

I am glad my suffering is a sorce of laughter for you. =)

S.I.F. said...

OK, you need a bigger bed... no doubt! This did make me laugh though! :)

Anonymous said...

[url=http://ivlkrwnnz.com]rVzITrW[/url] - IEIprZd - http://hhmgziigpu.com